Life is a journey, not a destination. Good thing. I've been thinking about some of the destinations I have dreamed of and I am so grateful they were not the end of my journey. Some would have been great big mistakes. Others worthwhile but unfulfilling. (Why does Blogger say that's not a word?) I am excited about where I am in my journey and looking forward to the future.
Time is a funny thing. It seems like TODAY will last forever. Sometimes an afternoon or a bedtime routine seems never ending, but it always, always passes and another day invariably comes. Tonight Sam observed, "It's always day, then night, then day, then night again!"
I have learned that we never earn the right to stop working, growing, and learning. Happiness, fulfillment, faith, health, security, relationships, they must all be strengthened daily because they are fragile.
I am aware that I will pass through seasons in my life. My book club has a lot of women over age sixty. Widows. Others are empty-nesters. My children think they will be small forever. They tell me they want to live across the street when they have to leave home. Michael said he will come visit me every night and he'll bring his wife with him so she won't be lonely while he's gone. He said if he has to go back to heaven without me, perish the thought, he'll parachute back to me in the backyard.
Time just speeds up and our lives take turns we never anticipated. Who would have guessed my life would be what it is today, where I am today. I am not a fatalist. I understand that we must plan for our futures. In fact, I think I am finally learning to take responsibility for myself in a way I have been afraid to in the past. But with all of our planning, we can't pretend to plan out all of the events that will shape us. We must prepare for the future and embrace the present. Nothing new, but it's made an impression on me lately. Plan for the known, prepare for the unknown.
I'm grateful that I have the life I have now and that I have been, and will continue to be, tutored and shaped in ways I cannot foresee. Vague enough for you?
Soccer Practice
Monday, May 23, 2011
Monday, April 25, 2011
Easter Greetings
Happy Easter! This is really my favorite day of the year. Ever since I spent Easter in Jerusalem in 1996, I can't celebrate Easter the same. It is real. I feel grief on Good Friday, I feel joy on Easter and I feel so GRATEFUL for my Savior.
This year the Easter Bunny brought me these three shiny Easter Eggs. I couldn't ask for anything sweeter.
Josh gave a great Family Home Evening lesson on the atonement last Monday which the boys really understood. I am so grateful for him and his love of the gospel and his involvement with our children. 
Here's Sam with his bed-hair. He was the first to discover the baskets and had to go wake up Michael. The Easter Bunny had hidden more eggs around the house, which they found a little more easily than they did last year! They're getting so big!
We had the missionaries join us for dinner right after church which meant I had to make everything, including the pork roast, ahead of time. I reheated it when I got home and it was great. We ate two dozen rolls. The boys and I each had two so you do the math for how many that left for Josh and the two missionaries!
I had my first day in my new calling at church helping in the nursery. It's a big change from teaching Relief Society, but it's going to be sweet. The night before church I was bemoaning how big Sam's hands are getting. Flash forward to nursery the next day when I had the job of helping 16 little ones use hand sanitizing gel before snack time! I was in baby-hand heaven. A handsome two year old boy in a pin stripe suit took a fancy to me and led me around by the hand. It was a great day. When Anna is 18 months in the fall, she'll be in there with me and I'll get to help her make some little friends. It's actually very exciting! So, this is me with my sugar-high from the Easter cake, and the joy that He Is Risen and the feel of tiny hands in mine. Quite a day!
Also, here's Anna in her girly-girl clothes from Grandma and Grandpa. She has discovered her shiny church shoes and asks to wear them all the time.
Here she is in her skirt, pretty shoes, talking on the phone and playing with a measuring spoon and cup. I could eat her up!
She calls me Mom-mom, asks for Da-da all the time, and calls herself "Nana." Baby Nana is so fun to say it might just stick.
Then, today, Josh took the day off work and we drove 100 miles to see the BEACH!
We build a small, lame sandcastle and had fun watching the waves carry most of it out to sea. Michael raced right down to the water and put his feet in.
The boys dug in the sand and drew in it with sticks.
As I came around the corner with Anna in my arms, the ocean came into view. She pointed to it and excitedly said/ asked "That!?" She giggled and wiggled the whole time. I didn't think we'd stay two hours and I didn't think about the sun and she has a tiny sunburn but I'm sure it will be gone by morning.
This year the Easter Bunny brought me these three shiny Easter Eggs. I couldn't ask for anything sweeter.
Josh gave a great Family Home Evening lesson on the atonement last Monday which the boys really understood. I am so grateful for him and his love of the gospel and his involvement with our children. 
Here's Sam with his bed-hair. He was the first to discover the baskets and had to go wake up Michael. The Easter Bunny had hidden more eggs around the house, which they found a little more easily than they did last year! They're getting so big!
We had the missionaries join us for dinner right after church which meant I had to make everything, including the pork roast, ahead of time. I reheated it when I got home and it was great. We ate two dozen rolls. The boys and I each had two so you do the math for how many that left for Josh and the two missionaries!
I had my first day in my new calling at church helping in the nursery. It's a big change from teaching Relief Society, but it's going to be sweet. The night before church I was bemoaning how big Sam's hands are getting. Flash forward to nursery the next day when I had the job of helping 16 little ones use hand sanitizing gel before snack time! I was in baby-hand heaven. A handsome two year old boy in a pin stripe suit took a fancy to me and led me around by the hand. It was a great day. When Anna is 18 months in the fall, she'll be in there with me and I'll get to help her make some little friends. It's actually very exciting! So, this is me with my sugar-high from the Easter cake, and the joy that He Is Risen and the feel of tiny hands in mine. Quite a day!
Also, here's Anna in her girly-girl clothes from Grandma and Grandpa. She has discovered her shiny church shoes and asks to wear them all the time.
Here she is in her skirt, pretty shoes, talking on the phone and playing with a measuring spoon and cup. I could eat her up!
She calls me Mom-mom, asks for Da-da all the time, and calls herself "Nana." Baby Nana is so fun to say it might just stick.Then, today, Josh took the day off work and we drove 100 miles to see the BEACH!
We build a small, lame sandcastle and had fun watching the waves carry most of it out to sea. Michael raced right down to the water and put his feet in.
The boys dug in the sand and drew in it with sticks. 
As I came around the corner with Anna in my arms, the ocean came into view. She pointed to it and excitedly said/ asked "That!?" She giggled and wiggled the whole time. I didn't think we'd stay two hours and I didn't think about the sun and she has a tiny sunburn but I'm sure it will be gone by morning.
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Spring Fever
Spring has arrived and, once the rain stopped, we've been having lots of fun! Anna is just old enough to cope with missing a nap and can eat on the go much more easily than ever before so we've been able to be out a lot more. (Silent cheers!)
Our favorite friends to do things with are moving 30 miles away when the school year is over and we are already sad. The boys get along so well and the girls, well, they will learn to play together soon! I've read that it can be difficult to find friends for twins who can put up with the special relationship twins have, but this guy is so much fun he just jumps right on in or takes a step back and lets my guys work things out if they need to.
Michael keeps saying we have to move close to his friend's new house. Maybe in a year or two, but for now we're doing all we can together before it costs $25 in gas to make a round trip! Here they are at the Jelly Belly Factory for our tour.
Just thought you should know that we had green french toast and milk for breakfast on St. Patrick's Day. I gave a vague explanation of why we have this holiday and tried to brush it under the table since I don't really know. "He helped the people in Ireland and Ireland has a lot of green." I am SUCH a great teacher!
Sam loves helping Anna. He thinks of ways to help her and really makes a difference in helping her when I can't get to her right away. She gives him big hugs every morning.
I took a trip to Utah for a few days for a sister's weekend and only took three pictures! Here they are!
Anna with Great Grandpa -
Anna with Great-grandma Georgiana -
Anna watching "The Spoken Word" with Grandma. She sat still for at least 15 minutes watching and listening with Mom. It was so sweet. That's the dress mom bought her for Christmas. I didn't think she'd still fit in it but she did and it's a good thing since it was SNOWING there that morning!
Sam took this picture on Anna's birthday. I love this man. I don't know why he loves me sometimes but he assures me he does and I believe him and count my blessings.
Here is my future ballerina dancing at the lunch table the other day while the boys were at preschool. I danced around a little bit first and she clapped and clapped and waived her arms around like a real ballerina. I about died of joy right there! So I got out the camera and this is what I caught - enjoy!
Our favorite friends to do things with are moving 30 miles away when the school year is over and we are already sad. The boys get along so well and the girls, well, they will learn to play together soon! I've read that it can be difficult to find friends for twins who can put up with the special relationship twins have, but this guy is so much fun he just jumps right on in or takes a step back and lets my guys work things out if they need to.
Michael keeps saying we have to move close to his friend's new house. Maybe in a year or two, but for now we're doing all we can together before it costs $25 in gas to make a round trip! Here they are at the Jelly Belly Factory for our tour.
Just thought you should know that we had green french toast and milk for breakfast on St. Patrick's Day. I gave a vague explanation of why we have this holiday and tried to brush it under the table since I don't really know. "He helped the people in Ireland and Ireland has a lot of green." I am SUCH a great teacher!
Sam loves helping Anna. He thinks of ways to help her and really makes a difference in helping her when I can't get to her right away. She gives him big hugs every morning.
I took a trip to Utah for a few days for a sister's weekend and only took three pictures! Here they are!
Anna with Great Grandpa -
Anna with Great-grandma Georgiana -
Anna watching "The Spoken Word" with Grandma. She sat still for at least 15 minutes watching and listening with Mom. It was so sweet. That's the dress mom bought her for Christmas. I didn't think she'd still fit in it but she did and it's a good thing since it was SNOWING there that morning!
Sam took this picture on Anna's birthday. I love this man. I don't know why he loves me sometimes but he assures me he does and I believe him and count my blessings.
Here is my future ballerina dancing at the lunch table the other day while the boys were at preschool. I danced around a little bit first and she clapped and clapped and waived her arms around like a real ballerina. I about died of joy right there! So I got out the camera and this is what I caught - enjoy!Tuesday, April 5, 2011
The Birthday Girl
Our baby Anna had a birthday! I think she knew it was a special day. She was extra happy, even for such a happy baby. She giggled and patted my back and gave me extra hugs all day long. Do you think she knew it was one year since she came to earth to join our family?
We had a simple family party at home. I made her "favorite" dinner and she really did eat it up. Porcupine meatballs, mashed potatoes, and peas. She was pretty tired by the time we brought out the cake and wanted to get out of her seat by then, but one taste of that chocolate whipped cream and she knew something good was coming. 
She read her birthday cards like a genius baby.And loved her new girl toys!
She's been cruising around the furniture but in this video she pushes this Princess bike and takes her first steps moving forward! She is such a joy to us all. She reminds us to be happy every day. Even when she's sick or tired, she is still patient and can give us a sweet smile. We all love her and can't imagine our family without her.
She was worth waiting for!
Friday, March 4, 2011
Given the Boot
My doctor gave me a stabilizing boot to wear for two weeks to take the pressure off of my ligament that I sprained TWO MONTHS AGO! I am a little impatient for it to heal. 
Michael calls it my Ugly Boot while Sam calls it my Darth Vadar boot and wouldn't let me touch him the first two days I wore it.
It makes getting around laborious and up and down precarious and climbing up, more especially down, the stairs downright dangerous if I'm holding Anna. Since I do all of these things all day long, it has been somewhat of a trial of my patience as it has exhausted me more than usual just to take care of everyone around here.
Nevertheless, I have decided to be responsible for myself and have been wearing it as much as I can. I have been though the grocery store with it and can drive in it which I had to learn since I can't bend my foot forward in it to press the pedals.
In other news . . . We are into our rainy season full force and Sam and Michael are taking full advantage of it.
Love this one.
And we took a mini vacation to the Bay Area on President's Day. We drove up to Berkely campus and on to the Oakland Temple visitor's Center where we watched a movie about the Mormon Battalion while I nursed Anna in the back.
I don't know whether the boys grasped that this was a replica of the DNA double-helix structure.
But they had fun running up the gazillion stairs that went from one terraced parking lot level to the next.
We stopped for pizza on the way home at this family-owned Italian restaurant and hit the jackpot. I ate a huge piece of lasagna and the boys did a number on an enormous pizza. Anna even ate the minestrone soup. It was warm and cozy and full of families and dates and just felt nice.
I got to take Anna to the park all by ourselves yesterday while Michael and Sam were at preschool. She had fun in the swing for a while but then got tired. Last night she came down with a fever - I'm guessing the same one Sam has, and now Michael has. For about two hours all five of us were awake as Sam screamed every time he swallowed. I finally moved Michael into the guest room where he could get a little sleep and nursed Anna back to sleep. When I got back in bed a dog barking outside kept me awake for a while. I heard him barking every time Sam screamed. Since Sam's window was cracked open a little, I actually came to the conclusion that Sam was waking up the dog!
Amidst all this, we are happy and love being together. While one or the other boy is asleep, I have rare one-on-one time with the other one which has been so calming and enjoyable. I have been teaching the boys how to sort the laundry and do other chores which gives us more time to spend together while lightening my load and teaching them some new skills. I am very excited about where this could lead!
Michael calls it my Ugly Boot while Sam calls it my Darth Vadar boot and wouldn't let me touch him the first two days I wore it.It makes getting around laborious and up and down precarious and climbing up, more especially down, the stairs downright dangerous if I'm holding Anna. Since I do all of these things all day long, it has been somewhat of a trial of my patience as it has exhausted me more than usual just to take care of everyone around here.
Nevertheless, I have decided to be responsible for myself and have been wearing it as much as I can. I have been though the grocery store with it and can drive in it which I had to learn since I can't bend my foot forward in it to press the pedals.
In other news . . . We are into our rainy season full force and Sam and Michael are taking full advantage of it.
Love this one.
And we took a mini vacation to the Bay Area on President's Day. We drove up to Berkely campus and on to the Oakland Temple visitor's Center where we watched a movie about the Mormon Battalion while I nursed Anna in the back.
I don't know whether the boys grasped that this was a replica of the DNA double-helix structure.
But they had fun running up the gazillion stairs that went from one terraced parking lot level to the next.
We stopped for pizza on the way home at this family-owned Italian restaurant and hit the jackpot. I ate a huge piece of lasagna and the boys did a number on an enormous pizza. Anna even ate the minestrone soup. It was warm and cozy and full of families and dates and just felt nice.
I got to take Anna to the park all by ourselves yesterday while Michael and Sam were at preschool. She had fun in the swing for a while but then got tired. Last night she came down with a fever - I'm guessing the same one Sam has, and now Michael has. For about two hours all five of us were awake as Sam screamed every time he swallowed. I finally moved Michael into the guest room where he could get a little sleep and nursed Anna back to sleep. When I got back in bed a dog barking outside kept me awake for a while. I heard him barking every time Sam screamed. Since Sam's window was cracked open a little, I actually came to the conclusion that Sam was waking up the dog!
Amidst all this, we are happy and love being together. While one or the other boy is asleep, I have rare one-on-one time with the other one which has been so calming and enjoyable. I have been teaching the boys how to sort the laundry and do other chores which gives us more time to spend together while lightening my load and teaching them some new skills. I am very excited about where this could lead!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Black Bean Baby
Please excuse the blue bib on the baby girl! Here's a little taste of dinnertime at our house.
Monday, February 14, 2011
All the Posts I've Been Meaning to Write
Hello blogoshpere. Never fear, I'm still here. All of me. The baby weight and the split ends, but I have plans, oh I have plans!
I have a list of posts I have been wanting to write. It started in December. After posting about the boys' birthdays I was going to post about how I planned to get through the dark, foggy months by running. Who knew that I could have such a huge grin on my face while running in the misty cold morning air. All of those endorphins and Boston's "More Than A Feeling" on my mini iPod thingy are a powerful combination. They even made the pigeons on the roofs look beautiful with the morning fog on their wings. Then I pulled a muscle in my back. When that healed, I sprained my ankle. It's been six weeks and it still hurts (doctor's appointment tomorrow). BUT I haven't been running or even walking for two months so I figured I shouldn't post about that after all. 
Then I was going to write a post about the pigeons in our neighborhood. When I can see them on a neighbor's house I get so excited because it means they aren't on mine! I still don't like these rats with wings, but on above mentioned running excursions they have looked beautiful flying all out of formation but with a great "wooshing" sound that I have come to appreciate. These two are apparently in love and while the boys think it's cute to see the Mom and Dad pigeon, I can only imagine how many more little pigeons will grace our neighborhood when their love children hatch. Josh has lightened the situation by making up a bedtime story about "Harold the Ghost Pigeon" who knocks on our door one night to apologize for the mess he made on our driveway while alive. He turns into a prince at the end. It is hilarious. Harold has a British accent. Believe me when I say there's enough material for an entire Pigeon Post.
My four-year old son beats me at chess. No joke. I've never been able to see more than one move ahead, but Sam can and he loves it. I coach him a little, but he's good at it. It plays to his logic skills and he likes to make up stories about the battle while we play. "The queen is worried about the king but the knight will save him!" He is such a romantic these days and is very interested in how Josh and I met and fell in love. As long as he keeps his kisses for me, I'm fine with that!
I found out when there was free admission to the Air Force Base Aerospace Museum and we took the boys to climb into the jets. Sam has a Bilar candy from IKEA in his mouth in that picture! He loves to hear stories about when I was a little girl "named Nina." He wants to meet all of the people in my stories and see where it all happened.
He put his sweater on backwards but he put it on without force or begging so I wasn't about to tell him. He wants to be a pilot and live on a boat = Navy pilot. Michael likes the jets too but would prefer to live across the street from us when he is grown up and has to move out.
It was so windy it was hard to push the stroller outside and there were long lines for each plane because of the free admission, but they loved it. I made a list of the museums and historical sites in the area and we're going to try to see one a month this year. Last year we pretty much stayed at home and we're ready to get out and discover our city!
Michael went to the dentist for the first time. Here he is saying, "What am I doing?" I took only Michael and Anna and it was a nice date for us. He made the dentist laugh when he took one look in the hand held mirror he was given and declared, "No cavities!"
Anna is pulling up and trying to stand alone. She has discovered the phone and cries every time I'm on it because she wants to play with it. She has finally started saying "Mama" which fills me with love every time I hear it. She continues to be such a delightful, easy baby.
I have been trying to get organized and have finally decided to get my ankle looked at so I can start exercising again. I called someone from church who has a great haircut and will make an appointment for next week. I haven't had it cut since my visit to my old salon in D.C. last May and I feel like a shaggy dog or a country music star from the 80's. I can remember playing the Mandrell sisters and I'm pretty sure I got in trouble for wearing a shirt down around my shoulders like that when I was still a preschooler. Vanity starts young.
I have our meals planned out for an entire month at a time on an Excel spreadsheet and am starting to put my tasks and appointments in Outlook for each week. I have two twenty-minute windows to spend time with Michael and Sam in the mornings that I've been trying to use to help them learn to read.
Maybe it's the time of year or that fact that Anna is beginning to need a little less of my time but I have this huge urge to organize my life and be in control of how I use my time instead of feeling like I am just responding to the needs of each day without a larger plan to prepare in advance for some of those needs. It's a hard balance between structure and spontaneity, but when I am organized and the basics are taken care of, there is more time to be spontaneous. I don't want to be so busy with tasks that there isn't time to sit and play with the lego creations or stack blocks. After all, I didn't wait eight years for these children only to spend my days ignoring them because the floor is dirty, but I also can't stand walking on unidentified crunchy objects. I accidentally ordered Anna some spring clothes online-- in size 5T. My brain has to have some order. I know that putting the kids first IS the right order of things, but it's just time for a little more structure and not letting Sam and Michael wear pj's at lunch.
I have a list of posts I have been wanting to write. It started in December. After posting about the boys' birthdays I was going to post about how I planned to get through the dark, foggy months by running. Who knew that I could have such a huge grin on my face while running in the misty cold morning air. All of those endorphins and Boston's "More Than A Feeling" on my mini iPod thingy are a powerful combination. They even made the pigeons on the roofs look beautiful with the morning fog on their wings. Then I pulled a muscle in my back. When that healed, I sprained my ankle. It's been six weeks and it still hurts (doctor's appointment tomorrow). BUT I haven't been running or even walking for two months so I figured I shouldn't post about that after all. 
Then I was going to write a post about the pigeons in our neighborhood. When I can see them on a neighbor's house I get so excited because it means they aren't on mine! I still don't like these rats with wings, but on above mentioned running excursions they have looked beautiful flying all out of formation but with a great "wooshing" sound that I have come to appreciate. These two are apparently in love and while the boys think it's cute to see the Mom and Dad pigeon, I can only imagine how many more little pigeons will grace our neighborhood when their love children hatch. Josh has lightened the situation by making up a bedtime story about "Harold the Ghost Pigeon" who knocks on our door one night to apologize for the mess he made on our driveway while alive. He turns into a prince at the end. It is hilarious. Harold has a British accent. Believe me when I say there's enough material for an entire Pigeon Post.
My four-year old son beats me at chess. No joke. I've never been able to see more than one move ahead, but Sam can and he loves it. I coach him a little, but he's good at it. It plays to his logic skills and he likes to make up stories about the battle while we play. "The queen is worried about the king but the knight will save him!" He is such a romantic these days and is very interested in how Josh and I met and fell in love. As long as he keeps his kisses for me, I'm fine with that!
I found out when there was free admission to the Air Force Base Aerospace Museum and we took the boys to climb into the jets. Sam has a Bilar candy from IKEA in his mouth in that picture! He loves to hear stories about when I was a little girl "named Nina." He wants to meet all of the people in my stories and see where it all happened.
He put his sweater on backwards but he put it on without force or begging so I wasn't about to tell him. He wants to be a pilot and live on a boat = Navy pilot. Michael likes the jets too but would prefer to live across the street from us when he is grown up and has to move out.
It was so windy it was hard to push the stroller outside and there were long lines for each plane because of the free admission, but they loved it. I made a list of the museums and historical sites in the area and we're going to try to see one a month this year. Last year we pretty much stayed at home and we're ready to get out and discover our city!
Michael went to the dentist for the first time. Here he is saying, "What am I doing?" I took only Michael and Anna and it was a nice date for us. He made the dentist laugh when he took one look in the hand held mirror he was given and declared, "No cavities!"
Anna is pulling up and trying to stand alone. She has discovered the phone and cries every time I'm on it because she wants to play with it. She has finally started saying "Mama" which fills me with love every time I hear it. She continues to be such a delightful, easy baby.
I have been trying to get organized and have finally decided to get my ankle looked at so I can start exercising again. I called someone from church who has a great haircut and will make an appointment for next week. I haven't had it cut since my visit to my old salon in D.C. last May and I feel like a shaggy dog or a country music star from the 80's. I can remember playing the Mandrell sisters and I'm pretty sure I got in trouble for wearing a shirt down around my shoulders like that when I was still a preschooler. Vanity starts young.
I have our meals planned out for an entire month at a time on an Excel spreadsheet and am starting to put my tasks and appointments in Outlook for each week. I have two twenty-minute windows to spend time with Michael and Sam in the mornings that I've been trying to use to help them learn to read. Maybe it's the time of year or that fact that Anna is beginning to need a little less of my time but I have this huge urge to organize my life and be in control of how I use my time instead of feeling like I am just responding to the needs of each day without a larger plan to prepare in advance for some of those needs. It's a hard balance between structure and spontaneity, but when I am organized and the basics are taken care of, there is more time to be spontaneous. I don't want to be so busy with tasks that there isn't time to sit and play with the lego creations or stack blocks. After all, I didn't wait eight years for these children only to spend my days ignoring them because the floor is dirty, but I also can't stand walking on unidentified crunchy objects. I accidentally ordered Anna some spring clothes online-- in size 5T. My brain has to have some order. I know that putting the kids first IS the right order of things, but it's just time for a little more structure and not letting Sam and Michael wear pj's at lunch.
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