A Love Story

Where do I begin . . .

We are happy to, finally, present Nathanael Enoch.  I was so very ready to have him and he has been heavenly.  Literally.  He is a piece of heaven in our home and we all adore him.  I feel old and weak but my strength is returning as is the amount of time I can spend with my other children and life is becoming a beautiful thing as I am surrounded by people who are depending on me and loving me and giving me the most rewarding experiences as I nurture and love them.

There is no better way to see how valued you are then to step out of your life and observe the effects on those around you.  Just ask George Bailey.  Being unable to take care of my home and family the last few weeks before Nathan was born and the last two months after has taught me just how much my family needs me!  Somehow it is easier to clean the house now when I know how we feel when it is cluttered.  Somehow it is easier to stop what I am doing to read books or lie on a blanket and look into my babies eyes knowing how much my children need me.  I have never felt so much joy in cleaning, cooking, and cuddling as I do now, not having been able to do it for months.  And Josh.  Josh deserves something amazing for the months of being Mr. Mom against his will.

Having this baby was so exciting! 

The day before he was born I went into the doctor's office for a check up and asked them to strip my membranes.  I was so DONE being pregnant.  I get to where the only thing I recognize in the mirror is my teeth, and even they are too yellow.  I immediately regretted the procedure!  It hurt so badly I thought I was in labor and it turns out I was!  I drove myself home from the doctor, made chicken and wild rice soup, and tried to get relax through the pain.  I walked up to the mailbox with the kids and watched a movie with Josh after dinner, all the time regretting the seemingly unnecessary pain I had brought upon myself.  But, at 3 a.m. I woke up and was still cramping hard.  After walking around the house for 10 minutes I knew I was in labor.

We called our neighbor and visiting teacher who was over here in a heartbeat to stay with the kids.  Josh made himself a PB&J sandwich to throw in the hospital bag and we were on our way.  Nervous.  Excited.  Scared.  Relieved.  I wanted to be delivered from the burden of being pregnant and knew the only way out was to give birth. 

It was an almost full moon as we drove over the big hill on the way to the nearby hospital.  Everything looked so peaceful.  All those people sleeping in their beds and our lives were changing.  We called our parents to let them know it had begun and were soon at the hospital. 

I was able to walk into the labor and delivery, a big improvement from last time, and tell them many, many times that I wanted an epidural and I wanted it fast.  I have now had a c-section, an natural birth, and an epidural.  God has been good to us with the invention of the epidural.  With Anna there hadn't been enough time go get one and I spent 6 hours in lonely pain, unable to communicate because of the pain.  This time all I could feel was a cold sensation when more of the medication went into my back and there was a tiny triangle in my belly where I could still feel the contractions, but mildly.  Just enough to be aware of them and, later, to push with them.

It was amazing to feel so calm and be so present in labor.  I was able to ask the nurses questions and make decisions about my care.  I was able to talk to Josh and to relax with some music.  I lay there for two hours as I labored down and the baby moved closer and closer to birth.  My water still had not broken so we just let it stay until the very end and it cushioned the baby.  After I felt rested enough I decided to start pushing.  It was only about 10 minutes, maybe less, I already forget!, but it was so painless it felt unreal.

I felt the presence of the Holy Ghost so strongly reassuring me of my Savior's love for me.  I understood why He loves us.  Because He sacrificed for us to give us something we couldn't have any other way.  He had anxiety and hoped there was a way out "Let this cup pass from me" but endured the unimaginable for us.  I wept.  He loves me.  I understand a little better and I want to share that with the world, starting with my Laurel class. 

I felt Nathan close.  I felt his gratitude for my sacrifice bringing him into the world.  And then, I saw him..  My miraculous baby Nathanael.  His name means "God has given."  And He has.   

Most of the pictures are on Josh's phone but here's a sampling of the last two months.  

Introductions were made.  Monkey, Nathan.  Nathan, Monkey.

A lot of time was spent watching t.v. and bonding with siblings. The kids inspected him from head to toe the first time I set him down at home.  Then we all had a lesson on hand washing, being gentle and keeping small objects away from the baby.  Many times. 

Friends from church took good care of us.  Josh took two weeks off work and nearly lost his mind taking care of needy kids whose mother was suddenly out of commission.  

 Time passed.  I sat and nursed him around the clock and he grew!

After 3 weeks the cavalry arrived.  Mom cooked and did laundry all day long.  Dad did dishes, read stories, and took the kids to the grocery store with him.  They were here 2 1/2 weeks and left me feeling rested and sane.  A big improvement over how I felt when they arrived!

He had to wear those socks on his hands, his boxing gloves, because the touch of his hands on his face woke him up and confused him while nursing. 

This one is out of order.  He was only 2 weeks old and started smiling at me.  It wasn't gas.  It was love!!!

 

And now he is even more adorable and sleeping up to 8 hour stretches at night, like right now when I should be in bed.  

 

Amazingly, I am getting back on top of things so that life is a little more predictable and enjoyable.  Today there were no errands or chores, we're still on an as-needed basis for both, and I sat with my kids and we laughed.  They are silly and smart and I love them.  All FOUR of them!   

 

After eight years of infertility, I have to declare "God has given" and try to raise them with His help.  

Now the real adventures begin!

Party Central

It's Christmas Time All Over the World and Birthday Time at our house.  We were going to keep things easy this year and invited 3 friends to go bowling, then come over for pizza and cake.  But, it turns out the boys have more than 3 friends so that was the Saturday party and then yesterday we had another party, decorating graham cracker houses, or pagodas because I am architecturally challenged. 

They are six years old and I have to say that this last year they have really grown up a lot.  They aren't little preschoolers anymore and it was fun to watch them interact with their friends. 

Here we are bowling!  It was hilarious.  The balls took forever to go down the alley but they loved it and cheered each other on with high-fives and hugs.  So sweet.  We all want to go back anther time soon. 

Here's Sam watching his ball roll down in utter suspense.

 

Here's the whole gang.  I drove them over in the van together and their conversation was funny too.  "Raise your hand if you're in kindergarten!"  

"Raise your hand if you've lost a tooth!"

Then Michael comes up with, "Raise your hand if you're a Republican!" and they all did!  Maybe he's on to a new slogan there.  

Michael in action.  He was great.  So outgoing.  I would never have guessed it of him two years ago when he cried every day going to preschool. 

Anna's turn!  She was adorable and even let Daddy take some of her turns.  It was a 6 lb. bowling ball but she did it and was so excited about it.  She likes being around the boys' friends and can stand up for herself. 

I think Daddy is in love. 

The gang, minus one.  This was two friends from our last neighborhood who have also moved up near us and one new friend from school. 

Then at home with pizza and orange soda the birthday party continued on strong!

My friend who was over practicing a duet for the church Christmas dinner said "I decorate cakes" so I let her and they were adorable. 

You can get a feel for the action if you watch this video.  But turn your volume DOWN - these guys are loud!  It was one of those great days, like a parent's pay day.  We are so happy our boys are healthy and strong, smart, handsome, kind, and mostly obedient.  We are so grateful to be parents and for the fun we've had together their first six years.  We know the fun is about to multiply exponentially as we move into these school years.  We were so happy all day, and all weekend. 

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Then we had another party yesterday because I had this crazy notion that they had to do something fun on their actual birthday so the primary class boys came over for an action-packed hour and a half with lots of chasing each other around the house, playing with new toys, and sugar.  In the past I've felt bad about asking people to bring gifts for two boys so we've always said "no presents" on the invitations when we've had parties, but this year we didn't and Sam and Michael loved getting some presents from their friends.  They got a lot of new board games which will be a lot of fun through the winter months. 

They have this huge primary class full of boys.  I hope they all stick around a while and become a strength to each other.  I had a hard time getting ready for this party on my own after being up late and waking up early and having some annoying Braxton Hicks contractions that were slowing me down.  I think I had a mini anxiety attach trying to make the frosting, do the dishes, and be ready for the party but I realized that I want these boys to get to know each other better and that even if they just played together it would be a fun time.  After that I finished putting the graham cracker houses together while they played and it all worked out. 

Lego happiness.

Here's a graham cracker pagoda.  Some of the boys ate more candy than they glued on their houses but others were meticulous and made some pretty nice creations. 

There were no fancy decorations from Pinterest or party favors but they had fun.  I have to pace myself the next three months until our baby comes and it's frustrating but if I don't I end up on the couch with back pain or contractions so life is what it is right now and we're all doing our best and giving Mom a lot of help!

I am so in love with Michael and Sam and looking forward to concentrating on teaching them about the True Meaning of Christmas in the coming days.  What a special time of year to have a birthday. 

Status Update

It's finally cooling off here.  Last week was in the 90's and this week it's in the 50's in the mornings.  I am sleeping so much better in the cooler air and am not quite so thirsty as I was this summer.  The doctor told me I need 3 quarts of water a day and I said, how's 5 or 6?  It makes it hard to be out of the house when I need to be close to the bathroom, but all you moms out there know about that. 

We had a fun night while Josh was at a church meeting last week.  Instead of going to bed at bedtime, we turned on some fun music and made cookies.  The kids had so much fun.  We went outside in the dark to look at the stars.  Anna didn't remember seeing them much before and didn't want to go back inside.  We came in and got out my Audubon Guidebook to the Night Sky to read about the myths behind the constellations.  They were a little scary but fascinating.  I love being able to stop once in a while and have some fun.  School is so early that we're all running a little tired and it's harder to try and have fun when there's such a pressure to get to bed, but on the weekends we try to do something that's just fun. 

Anna is changing so fast.  She's playing with her toy kitchen, tea pot, vacuum, and shopping cart all of a sudden.  Here she is feeding her daddy.  She told him she doesn't want him to go to work "any more."  But we have fun together while Sam and Michael are at school.  I know she loves the one on one time. 

Dressed as Rapunzel, in the reading chair.  My Aunt Lois had a rocking chair and books by her fireplace.  When I was over I would lay in the animal skin rug or sit in the chair and read Dr. Seuss or Uncle Wiggley.  We have a basket of library books and this rocking chair by the fireplace and it is a magnet!  It was in the toy room where no one looked at it but once I moved it into the family room there has been fighting over it.  I love to see my kids looking at books.  Michael is reading and will read stories to Anna and instructions to Sam.  It's hilarious.  Sam is coming along too.  Being at school has given him a desire to learn, which he didn't have before.   He still prefers to play make believe king or knight or warrior and cleans out the library's collection of juvenile books on knights each time we visit.  If repetition is the key to learning, we have the origins of castles and rules of heraldry down pretty well after two years on this topic. 

They have taken up writing, too.  It's such a still, quiet activity that is easy to clean up!  They will draw the pictures and write the story phonetically or ask me to write it for them.   We are getting quite a collection of these.  They'll be so fun to look back at.  Their new school has no homework packet, which is a blessing.  We're just asked to read 20 minutes a day and I get to choose what we read!  I love it.  It's what we love doing together instead of trying to help them both with the same papers at the same time which was maddening. 

This took me by surprise the other day, although it's not uncommon to see these two close together.  Sam is very nurturing and likes to make sure Anna is ok and happy. 

One day after school I told the boys they would have to help me clean as a punishment for something.  They cheered!  What a revelation!  Sam was more than happy to scrub the toilet and wash the sliding glass door.  He also likes the dust buster and unloading the dishwasher.  I count myself very fortunate and need a sign that says "DELEGATE" to remind myself to use these helpers more! 

A few weeks ago we went hiking and discovered we were along the American River.  We took off our socks and shoes and waded in the water, which resulted in a bacterial infection in Anna's foot.  The next time we found a different spot and came prepared.  We're searching for a family spot where we like to go when we have time for an outing and we think we may have found it.  It is beautiful and only 15 minutes away. 

There is still time and need for quiet time playing on various Apple devices.  I don't like it but sometimes it 's better than the screaming and fighting for a little while.  Michael is in his Halloween Ninja costume and I don't know what get-up Anna had on.  She's into changing her clothes 4 times a day all of a sudden.  I think it's because she has a new drawer full of cold weather clothes and she just wants to try them all. 

Baby Boy keeps kicking up a storm.  As long as I go for a walk each day to keep the back pain at bay and get enough rest I feel fine.  I love the second trimester.  This week is the Pumpkin Patch field trip, school Halloween party, church Halloween party, Primary Program practice and party, Primary Program, then real Halloween next week.  I get to start going into the boys' classroom Thursday mornings in November and can't wait to enter their new world. 

They are happier at this school.  They are calmer and talking about more mild things.  I think being together with 1st graders two hours out of their day was a bit much for them.  Their classroom seems to be stricter and they are the better behaved for it.  Sam has been singing sweet songs and they've been painting pumpkins instead of peace signs.  I am happy.

First Day of School, Again

 We're seven weeks into the school year and yanking Sam and Michael out of their kindergarten class to start them at a charter school.

Last October I began researching elementary school options.  The local school where we lived was not an option.  When I first saw it I thought it was a juvenile detention center, no joke.  The class sizes were huge, the test scores low, and discipline difficult to maintain.  I was interested in two charter schools, public schools operating within their local school districts, tuition free, but focused on one set-mission or curriculum.  There were two which looked wonderful, but they were 30 miles away.

I visited both schools, read their charters, read the books their charters are based on, and talked to everyone I met who had children in them.  And so we applied to the schools and moved close to them hoping the boys would get accepted through their lottery systems.  There are so many more people applying to the schools than can get in that there is a huge waiting list.

We were placed on the waiting lists at both schools and so I looked in to our new local school.  I was so disappointed in what I found!  The local school in our new neighborhood also had an agenda, a specific program above and beyond the state requirements which teaches a political and world view I disagree with.  I had felt it was the right neighborhood to move into so I told myself to trust the Lord and sent the boys to the school.  Last week we got a call that they had moved up enough one of the charter school's waiting lists to be admitted!

It is a Conservative charter school.  I don't mind political agendas in school if they are in line with my beliefs and if they are my choice, not a default.  It's based on a book which explains a classical alternative to the assembly-line education system developed in America as a result of the need to train literate workers during the Industrial Revolution.  It focuses on reading classical literature, then writing about it and discussing it.   This study is guided by mentors who recommend and focus the students, or "scholars" as the school calls them, in their course of study.  It is heavy on the founding and Constitution of America, which fits our family with degrees in Political Science and American History. 

Here are the boys at the flag raising ceremony.  The whole school lines up by class and says the Pledge of Allegiance and sings the National Anthem before going into the school for the day. 

So, I spent last week gathering school uniforms and we are facing a second - first day of school.  The boys are being good about the change.  Sam was upset about leaving the familiar but Michael said, "How else are we going to meet new people?"  And since they get to be together, it's easier.

I think I am more nervous than they are, imagining them walking into a new classroom full of kids who already know the routine.  They were just getting things down at their last school and will have so many things to confuse them about how their new classroom operates.  But, I am thankful they were admitted and think it's better to move them now than to wait until next fall to change schools.  They would not hold our spots until then even if I wanted to do that.  It's start now or reapply next year and go to the bottom of the waiting list so here we go!

I am excited about Sam wearing the uniform instead of his athletic stripe shorts and t-shirts everyday!  Let's hope they enjoy it.  Parents are required to volunteer a total of 40 hours per school year so we will all be spending a lot of time there and will become part of the community.  Josh is very excited and may even become a mentor.

I will be happy when a few weeks have passed and we are into our new routine.  I think I know where Sam got his resistance to change!

P.S. After school verdicts are in:  they like it!  Michael asked me why it was so short.  Actually, it was 30 minutes longer than his last school so the day must have gone by quickly for him.  Sam said someone taught him to jump rope at recess and he likes that there are no student group-leaders in their reading groups - no one is bossing each other around.  They made apple people and candy corn people and had time to eat their snack AND play at recess on the playground that is more fun than the last one.  Praise indeed from a five year old. 

The Surprises Continue

So, I could have sworn we were having a girl, but . . .

Thoughts, reactions, etc to come.

Taking Care of Business II

When I was growing up in St. Louis I was blessed to live near so much of my family.  My married sisters and all of their children were big parts of my life.  I remember laughing at my nephews Andrew and Matt dancing to BTO's "Taking Care of Business" at more than one family gathering.  They must have been 3 and 4 years old.

This reminded me of them, for anyone who might remember.  This time it's to REO Speedwagon. 

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And then there's Anna's dancing.  So different.  So fun I put on two samples.

I'm also taking suggestions for window treatments in the family room.  I'm thinking red stripped ticking but I can't find any ready-made that are long enough and I don't want to make them myself.

I'm trying to get into a routine for taking care of the business around here with the new addition of school.  I like getting up at the same time every day and having a routine, but everyday after lunch I am wiped out, because I'm an old pregnant lady, so I have to squeeze everything into the morning while the boys are at school.

They are enjoying it.  Michael though there would be a lot of formal instruction, probably since that's how I've always taught him here, and is disappointed he hasn't "learned anything yet."  The teacher told me they're still learning routines and rules so it should pick up in a few weeks.  I am going to get fingerprinted next week so I can volunteer in their classroom. 

Everything is so exciting for them.  There was a fire drill yesterday and there is the oldest boy in the class who "has everyone under his command" according to Michael.  That doesn't sit well with Michael because he likes to be the one in command around here!  Sam told his teacher how easy it is to become a member of our church, you just have to get baptized, and we've already lost one school library book.  Some one has a harder time staying organized than his brother.  No names to protect the innocent.

I have some adjustments to make too.  Somehow the boys' alarm was reset for midnight Monday and poor Michael kept pressing snooze every 9 minutes from midnight until 7AM.  That explained the wrestling on the floor of the grocery store after lunch.  Note to self:  make any sacrifice necessary, such as showering, to complete errands before school gets out.  There are a few bugs to work out but we're getting into a kind of a schedule.  That's about all I can handle.  I rebel and strict schedules and tell myself I don't care what the schedule is, I don't want to dust today, I want to make raspberry jam.  And there you have it.  My house is dirty but we have good food.  It's all about priorities. 

It is utter chaos right when the boys get home.  They both want to talk at the same time and end up fighting until they've eaten lunch and I leave them alone to relax while I put Anna down for a nap and a little rest time for myself.  Then it's homework time, then dinner time, then bedtime, clean up the kitchen, go to bed myself.  Busy but fun. 

It was perfect timing that my morning sickness went away right when school started.  I don't think I could have done this so sick and tired.  Having a baby in the middle of the school year should be interesting, but we'll have a routing down by then and there's always hoping for another easy baby like Anna.

We'll find out what we're having in another month.  It's going so fast.  I say that now, but I know the end will drag on with discomfort and suspense.

So today I made a double batch of raspberry freezer jam and posted on my blog.  Did you know that's six cups of raspberries, ten and a half cups of sugar?  I knew there was a reason I liked it so much!  The boys have another party to go to Friday afternoon so Josh and get to take Anna out on a date for a couple of hours.  She talks my ear off while they're at school and complains about the noise when they're home.  Ah, kindred spirit.

First Day of School

 Despite the feeling that this summer and morning sickness would never end, they both have, for the most part.  The kids have grown so much - ready for church below.  

We've spent the summer surviving.  I made breakfast, clean it up, and rest on the couch.  I make lunch, clean it up, put Anna down for a nap and take a nap myself while the boys watch copious amounts of T.V. and I feel very guilty, until I fall asleep.  They've spent untold amounts of time in their pajamas and loved every minute of it. 

But, today was the first day of kindergarten!  Michael and Sam have been so excited for this day.  We bought their backpacks a couple of weeks ago and they've been asking daily "how many more days until kindergarten?"  Before school got out in May we took a trip up to visit the kindergarten classrooms and observe a couple of classes for a while.  Sam didn't want to go home.  He is so social.  Michael can't wait to learn and was disappointed they didn't do any real learning today on the first day.  

We woke up an hour an forty-five minutes earlier than we have been to get them up there on time.  They start so early!  Sam was the first one awake, though, and had made his bed, brushed his teeth, and gotten dressed before anyone else was awake.  I had to go lie down next to Michael and help him wake up.  He will have to kick the habit of staying awake at night pondering the mysteries of the universe and go to sleep early.

 

 
We all drove up to the school today and walked the boys into their classroom with the hordes of other students.   I hope we'll eventually be able to just drop them off at the curb, especially when it starts raining this fall and I get huge and then have a newborn. 

I did cry a little.  Not because I can't believe they've grown so much or that they're entering a world where  I can't control everything they're going to see or learn, but because WE MADE IT!

When they were born I was so overwhelmed.  They didn't gain any weight the first two weeks and my parents and in-laws can tell you that it was a very intense time.  But we made it to kindergarten and they have not only survived, but thrived and are healthy, bright, and adorable!!!

Yesterday was a meet the teacher day.  We went into the classroom and did a little orientation.  Anna sat down in that chair and looked at books for 45 minutes straight.  The boys played with the bin of Legos. 

Today after we dropped off the boys Anna and I went to Target, Barnes & Noble, came home and had a snack, sorted and started the laundry, and went through her bin of clothes to see what she already has for winter, which is not much.  I couldn't believe we did all that in three hours.  

It was so quiet.  

I know I said that the day they went off to preschool two years ago but they have been at home with me almost every day for a long time.  We did our own preschool last year, two days a week, and I taught it half the time.  That ended in April and we've been very much together since.  Absence makes the heart grow fonder.  

The boys are just so ready for kindergarten.  They are ready to learn, to make friends, to have new experiences, and to be away from home a little bit.  I am so grateful we moved into this house so I can send them to school and know they'll be safe and around mostly good kids and learn a lot.  The alternative was home school and after today I am so thankful we're not doing that this year. It would not have been the best thing for any of us. 

I am a quiet person.  Most of the time.  I enjoy doing research in beautiful, quiet libraries.  I enjoy visiting quiet art museums and dancing to quiet ballet music.  For the past 5 1/2 years my life has been loud!  That is the most noticible difference I find between my boys and other, non-twin, siblings.  They are constantly talking over each other.  There is a real phenomenon called Twin Escalation Syndrome meaning they just keep getting louder and louder trying to be heard and I hate it!  I have never felt like I've had anxiety before but that noise and concentration just fries my nerves.  

Today Anna and I paddled around together in blissful quiet.  I thought about practicing the piano or my singing, but I didn't want to disturb the quiet.  

I have a little list of small errands I plan on doing now that I don't have to bring the entire crew with me to grab one thing from a store.  It's great timing that  my morning sickness is improving too.  

I love the boys to death but we are just so ready for this step.  

They enjoyed school and can't wait to go back tomorrow.  It is such a blessing and I know we are going to have a great fall!